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Poetry of the Bogus Bards: "Atlas Flatulated" by B. S. Eliot

8/14/2013

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Atlas Flatulated
By B. S. Eliot*

I look at the world and I see:

Fortuitous
Gratuitous 
Alleged Improbability
Dichotomy of Trajectory
A Voluptuous Vasectomy
Proliferate the Proletariat Pundit
and Postulate the Mastication
of Emasculated Menstruation
A Treatise on Diabetes
A Mélange of Misanthropic
Misogyny. 

Orangutan, Unscrupulous, Ambidextrous
Obstreperous, Vociferous
Ocelot.
Evangelized, Pasteurized
Conflagration
Kerouac and Kevorkian
Attempted to Enlighten
Our Trepidatious Observations of our
Administration. Acute, Intrepid Ostracization
of Acumen. An Impetuous, Calamitous,
Deciduous
Barbecue.
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Professor Baron Von Pompusworth aka B. S. Eliot

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Reflections on Bards Day: A Poetry Celebration on Long Island

8/14/2013

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It's been almost two months since Bards Day 2013 already. Bards Day is an annual tradition on Long Island sponsored by Local Gem's sister organization The Bards Initiative. It is a celebration of poetry and the official release of Bards Annual, a collection of wonderful poetry from Long Island poets.

This year's Bards Day was the biggest and best yet. Over 90 poets and poetry fans came out to celebrate. I made my annual journey to the Walt Whitman Birthplace to host the event and I had a blast. The energy and enthusiasm was intoxicating. The poetry was fantastic. I enjoyed listening to the poets reading at Bards Day even more than I did reading the submissions to Bards Annual. The food wasn't half-bad too. Best of all, this year I finally got myself a piece of cake!
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This year, we were also visited by two of the bogus bards: Professor Baron von Pompusworth, also known as B.S. Elliot and the famous oral poet Homie. Many people asked me afterwards if I would post their outrageous poems somewhere so they can read them. Maybe I will.
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We started a new tradition this year with our Bards Awards. We wanted a way to formally recognize and honor the members of the Long Island poetry community whose help and contributions have made the community what it is.  I want to thank all the award recipients again for everything they have done for the Long Island poetry community and for poetry in general.

I certainly had a great time at this year's Bards Day and I'm looking forward to next year's already. I'm looking forward to seeing more great skits, meeting more great people and, most importantly, hearing more great poetry.

Special thank you to John Brennan, one of our Humble Helper award recipients for letting me use his photos!



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I Something

8/14/2013

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I Something

“I Palindrome I”
threatens my playlist.
I, the speaker, am
asking you nicely:
Throw away your old copy of
I Robot,
Listen  to the sound of
my voice!  Abandon your belief(s)
in I Ching.
I think “ergo sum.”
Some therefore, I think,
don’t appreciate the I of
my eye.

I Ching can’t tell you
what the Eye
has already seen.
I rob others of
their I with my eye and they
to me in return.  Now turn, 
face me.  I, the speaker, know:
I and no one else.
This ends now, and now begins this,
“I Palindrome I.”

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    Nick Hale

    Nick is a publisher and editor with Local Gems.

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