Here's another one fresh off the presses! I had so much fun writing it,  I had to  share.

Life lessons come
in the silliest disguises.
Their mundane events contrast
sweetly to their profound importance.

We live through these real-life
allegories, sometimes without realizing
until years later. Like the composition
teacher blindly drilling her students,
"Do not thing, write," 
we sprint like lemmings with tunnel
vision, to our own ignorant bliss, not
stopping to pick the flowers, buy a
pastry and breathe the air of knowledge.

"Don't think, write." 
"Keep the pen moving!"
The mantras of the racehorse writer,
perhaps a racehorse liver too,
cruising through life in plaid,
speeding enough to be the first
one to the next red light.
"Keep the pen moving," 
no time for planning.
Hesitation is laziness at best,
incompetence at worse,
and we can't have that.

So, I click my pen, unclick, click
again and move my hand, tip
hovering too far from paper
while I keep my mind
moving.

Here's a brand new one inspired by literature and a Change.org petition.  It may want some revising, but I felt like sharing it as it is.

As soon as you pull the idea
from your head, give it a firm,
hard smack on the bottom. This will
make it cry, opening up the lungs and
allowing for the flow of words.

The heathen scientists have proven this to be true.

Several minutes after, if the crying
continues, give it a few more sharp 
whacks with the palm of your hand.
Continue until the crying subsides.

Some people recommend muffling
the cries with a pillow and waiting them out,
but this is wrong and could seriously disfigure
or even all together ruin your poem.

As early as three minutes, feel free to 
use a hard or softwood stick to keep it 
in line. If you must erase, use a light-colored
eraser to avoid leaving marks. Otherwise, those
godless hippies at your local library, grocery store,
or even church may call social services to come
take your poem away from you. They will try to clam that it's 
"abuse," but they're wrong. In fact, disregard any advice
that's not ours. This is the One True and Holy way to write up a poem.

At all costs, avoid using ink of any kind as 
it will leave permanent marks with very little effort.
It's much better to write in pencil.
There's less of a chance you will be charged
with anything, and you can press so much 
harder, especially if the end is blunt.

Keep a pencil case in your pocket, just in case
your poem acts out when you are not at home.
Make sure you find a quiet corner where you can write
in private if there are any commie hippie heathens around.

Revision isn't only for bad poems. Beat, I mean
revise your poem regularly to ensure total obedience. 
Maintenance revisions are essential. 

If you follow all our directions to the letter, not only will you avoid legal affairs, you will
also be left with a loving, holy poem that is ready for adulthood, I mean publication.